Baby Quotes: 100 Funny Baby Quotes

by Liilgenius
Baby Quotes

Baby Quotes: When a baby arrives, people see it as a big blessing — and even though it’s a blessing, it comes with new responsibilities and challenges. It comes with numerous nights you’ll be unable to sleep, the frequent need to feed and change diapers.

It undoubtedly can be tough to take care of a new baby — but with a good support system from people around, they would be able to set the right tone for themselves in a bid to enjoy the process instead. It gives so much joy to parents, most importantly mothers, to watch their children grow every single day. You know what it’s like to look into the face of your baby when you’re sad or angry, right? It has a way of changing your mood.

You can go through our list of Baby Quotes and Sayings from other people, to lighten your mood and help you enjoy every stage of the process. Without further ado, let’s move into the crux of this article: Baby Quotes.

Baby Quotes

Here are Baby Quotes.

1. “Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” – Nia Vardalos

2. “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse

3. “24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer!” – Jodi Picoult

4. “None of it is real until all of a sudden they’re standing there covered in slime and crying. You’re like, wait a minute, what is that?” – George Clooney

5. “In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.” – Erma Bombeck

6. “Having children is like living in a frat house- nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

7. “People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.” – Leo Burke

8. “Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pants less when your baby walks around pants less.” – Tina Fey

9. “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shovelling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller

10. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle

Best Baby Quotes

Here are Best Baby Quotes.

11. “Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park! ” – Unknown

12. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” – Franklin P Jones

13. “A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.” – Milwaukee Journal

14. “Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer!” – Jodi Picoult

15. “A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.” – Steve Martin

16. “Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.” – Wilhelm Busch

17. “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me. But I think she enjoyed it.” – Mark Twain

18. “Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.” – E. W. Howe

19. “Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” – Tina Fey

20. “Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.” – Olivia Wilde

Baby Quotes In English

Here are Baby Quotes In English.

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21. “I used to be excellent. Now that I have a baby and I couldn’t tell you what day it is.” – Gwyneth Paltrow

22. “Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.” – Erma Bombeck

23. “Very new things and very old things are much alike. Everything is a circle. Both ends meet. There is nothing much older or more wrinkled-looking than a baby just born.” – Monica Shannon

24. “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Joan Rivers

25. “I don’t dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.” – Queen Victoria

26. “Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.” – Carol Burnett

27. “When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: ‘Fetch!’.” – Bruce Lansky

28. “A baby’s cry is precisely as serious as it sounds.” – Jean Liedloff

29. “Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.” – Mark Twain

30. “We went all out with new things for our first child and the second one had nothing but hand-me-downs. The bronzed baby shoes almost killed him.” – Phyllis Diller

Baby Sayings

Here are Baby Sayings. Baby Quotes!

31. “90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.” – Unknown

32. “Parenting: Nobody really wants the job, but everybody thinks they can do better.” ― Bruce Lansky

33. “A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

34. “A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” – Jerry Seinfeld

35. “I thought I’d never be that annoying person, but as soon as Winnie was born, I was showing iPhone snaps to a cab driver.” – Jimmy Fallon

36. “Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you.” ― Anne Lamott

37. “Hi, my daughter will be late to school because she can zip her jacket by herself.” – Unknown

38. “They vomit a lot. For a second, I thought I needed to rename my first ‘Linda Blair’ and hire a priest.” – Jimmy Fallon

39. “A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad.” – John Andrew Holmes

40. “I’d love to be a Pinterest mom. But it turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.” – Unknown

Baby Quotes And Sayings

Here are Baby Quotes And Sayings.

41. “Hugs can do great amounts of good, especially for children.” – Princess Diana

42. “The birth of my sons. The birth of new emotions…what a privilege. What a blessing.” – Elle Macpherson

43. “There is nothing that can bring you closer to fearlessness about everything else in the world than being a parent—because everyday fears—like not being approved of—pale by comparison to the fears you have about your children.” – Arianna Huffington

44. “I love kids, but they are a tough audience.” – Robbin Williams

45. “I love kids. I was a kid myself, once.” – Tom Cruise

46. “A baby is born with a need to be loved—and never outgrows it.” – Frank A. Clark

47. “What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” – Nicholas Sparks

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48. “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” – Lin Yutang

49. “It is a wise father that knows his own child.” – William Shakespeare

50. “Always kiss your children goodnight—even if they’re already asleep.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr

Funny Baby Quotes

Here are Funny Baby Quotes.

51. “A little child, born yesterday, a thing on mother’s milk and kisses fed.” – Shelley

52. “Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here for an hour, I would have died for you. This is the miracle of life.” – Unknown

53. “I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

54. “A baby will make love stronger, days longer, nights shorter, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.” – Unknown

55. “I love these little people and it is no slight thing that they, who are so fresh from God, love us. – Charles Dickens

56. “A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” – Carl Sandburg

57. “When babies look beyond you and giggle, maybe they’re seeing angels.” – Eileen Elias Freeman

58. “When you’re drawing up your first list of life’s miracles, you might place near the top the first moment your baby smiles at you.” – Bob Greene

59. “A arying baby is the best form of birth control.” – Carole Tabron

60. “Oh the places you’ll go and the people you’ll see.” – Dr. Seuss

Baby Quotes For Parents

Here are Baby Quotes For Parents.

61. “There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother’s age.” – Benjamin Spock

62. “Babies are blessings from God.” – Anonymous

63. “I have just returned from a children’s party. I’m one of the survivors.” – Percy French

64. “To be a successful father there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.” – Ernest Hemingway

65. “Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.” – Ralph Bus

66. “I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.” – Harry S. Truman

67. “Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.” – John Wilmot

68. “I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: ‘Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant’.” – Dean Martin

69. “There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.” – Frank A. Clark

70. “The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant-and let the air out of the tires.” – Dorothy Parker

Quotes About Funny Baby

Here are Quotes About Funny Baby. Baby Quotes!

71. “Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.” – Anne Lamott

72. “How could something so small create so much of something so disgusting?” – Steve Guttenberg In ‘Three Men And A Baby’

73. “Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years, I spent without a child, of course.” – Ryan Reynolds

74. “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart

75. “A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.” – Unknown

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76. “If you want to know what it’s like to have a 4th kid, just imagine you are drowning and someone hands you a 4th kid.” – Jim Gaffigan

77. “They eat, they crap, they sleep. And if they’re crying, they need to do one of the three and they’re having trouble doing it. Real simple.” – Matthew McConaughey

78. “Congrats…you’ll soon live in a madhouse run by a tiny army you created yourself.” – Unknown

79. “Oh, you have a new baby? Is she sleeping? Is she pooping?’ Normally I’d be blushing, but as a parent you just get used to it, and pooping is just another verb in your vocabulary.” – Jimmy Fallon

80. “You never know when you’re gonna get crapped on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics.” – Blake Lively

Baby Quotes For Mothers

Here are Baby Quotes For Mothers.

81. “Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That’s what little girls are made of; the heck with sugar and spice.” – Bethany Hamilton

82. “Let her sleep, for when she wakes, she will move mountains.” – Napoleon

83. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou

84. “Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That’s what little girls are made of; the heck with sugar and spice.” – Bethany Hamilton

85. “My alarm clock wears cute PJs and smiles at me when I wake up.” – Unknown

86. “Three things remain with us from paradise: stars, flowers and children.” – Dante Alighieri

87. “A new baby is like the beginning of all things- wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.” – Eda LeShan

88. “Children have neither past nor future. They enjoy the present, which very few of us do.” – Jean De La Bruyere

89. “People who say they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.” – Leo Burke

90. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.” – Mark Anthony

Cute Baby Quotes

91. “I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.” – Robert Orben

92. “It’s a good thing babies don’t give you a lot of time to think. You fall in love with them and when you realize how much they love you back, life is very simple.” – Anita Diamant

93. “Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child.” – Tina Brown

94. “Like stars are to the sky, so are the children to our world. They deserve to shine!” – Chinonye J. Chidolue

95. “Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.” – George Bernard Shaw

96. “A baby boy has a special way of bringing out the man in his father and the little boy in his grandfather.” – Tanya Masse

97. “Little boys should never be sent to bed. They always wake up a day older.” – J.M. Barrie, ‘Peter Pan’

98. “Children bring us a piece of heaven on earth.” – Roland Leonhardt

99. “A happy baby has shining eyes. It walks open-hearted into the world and spreads magic.” – Sigrid Leo

100. “Children make you want to start life over.” – Muhammad Ali

This, right here, is our collection of Baby Quotes. We hope you enjoyed our suggestions.

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